wavetro (2019-2025)
Strike three. I'm out.
(There’s a TL;DR at the bottom.)
Snack Cactus was my last chance to prove I could be normal with my YouTube animations, and I just blew it.
Picking up from my previous newsletter posts, I was quietly working on finalizing three episode scripts and recording incredible performances of the voice actors of Snack Cactus this year. I’ve also been endlessly procrastinating editing the hours of audio we recorded.
When I finally got around to editing the audio, I found out one of the voice actors’ microphones was set up incorrectly, rendering the audio pretty much useless. I really did not want to go through re-recording ALL of those lines again, and started to ask the voice acting team their honest thoughts of what I should do now.
I really wanted to do the irrational thing of starting over with a simpler show idea. It was difficult to work on this show not only because of the overly-ambitious task I promised of making several 5-10 minute animations in a year, but also because the whole inspiration behind Snack Cactus was to show that the town I recently moved to (San Antonio) is not what people think it is. It’s a really special gem that’s very different from the rest of Texas and the US in general, but with all the recent political events that’s been happening, it’s hard for anyone outside of America to ever look at this country sympathetically now.
After I asked the team their thoughts, they obviously said the rational option of picking myself back up and to keep going with the existing Snack Cactus plan. I then had a type of mental breakdown I’ve never had before, and I will not it describe further. I’m not entirely sure why I even asked for their advice in the first place.
We’ve been in this spot multiple, multiple times before, even though this is now a new low for me. I start these projects, promise the world, and then cancel them with tearful explanations no one wants to hear. I’ve even done this with my previous YouTube channel, RobotUnderscore, where I left the internet for a while and then came back here as wavetro.
So what’s different this time? I have decided I am not mentally sound to have this audience at all. I will be leaving this username, this internet presence, and this project behind, and what’s different this time is that I am NOT allowed to “come back” under a new name. If I ever do return to making stuff online, I will start from nothing and be a nobody again so I can foster a healthier relationship with the internet.
Truth be told, I’ve STILL been addicted to chasing the fame I had when I was a kid on my coolernow123 channel. I shouldn’t have succeeded at proving to myself I didn’t peak in my childhood, but I somehow did with Stickmen 2020, and then got addicted to trying to top that too. I got so, SO close to truly changing when I published that embarrassing quitting video in 2022, only to leave the door open for myself to keep uploading to the same damn “wavetro” name and eventually get addicted to the idea of being a big animator with overambitious projects again.
I really did enjoy making Ask Wavetro and the travel vlogs and everything I made in 2022-2024, but last week I found myself putting them in the Unlisted playlist so that the wavetro viewing experience for new channel viewers would only be animations, which is really sad. I can’t even let myself start over using this name without getting guilty about “the legacy” I’ve had so far or something.
If you’re tired of reading this from me again, it’s okay. This is my final crashout. I had plenty of opportunities to find a healthy relationship with this hobby, and I just used my last. It’s time to log off permanently and touch grass for good.
You can find the scripts for Snack Cactus here, if you were wondering what the episodes were going to be like: https://github.com/wavetro/snack-cactus
TL;DR - This is not your fault. I have deemed myself mentally unfit to have an online audience after having a mental breakdown while working on Snack Cactus, and I will be leaving this internet presence and online content creation entirely. If I ever do create things online again, I will start from scratch and NEVER announce the new name here, so I can learn how to be healthy about it. I have been addicted to internet praise from age 10, and I only have myself to blame. Doing this is my first step to getting help. This is a good thing.
The best closure I can give is to re-link you to this animation I did back in 2022. Hell, I’ll throw in this new song I’ve been listening to a lot lately too, even though it’s a little on-the-nose.
And with that, I’m ending the 15-year story here and returning to the real world.
Take care. Please be well. I hope you learned something.
- George
dude.
i'd try to be encouraging but look man, this cycle won't end until you stop overthinking things like you have been all this time even after you leave.
please try to seriously thoroughly get out of your head while you're away and don't be discouraged for even a second because you aren't obligated to impress anyone, you've already proved you're real awesome and just get a little overwhelmed, and that's okay. just keep in mind that your worst enemy here is yourself, and that you have nothing to fear going forward.
farewell and i hope i come across whatever you make in the distant future, keep rocking on.
I feel as if you have personally beaten yourself up for these minor setbacks, and although I do believe there could be a comeback, I fully understand your decision. If you need the time away from social media, that is completely okay.
You can always get back up from mistakes, and although there could be many, being human is something we all experience.
Though, these mental processes that you face during it, and your own personal reasons as well, are completely valid.
o7